An Open Letter to the Connecticut Department of Labor

Wherein Josh makes an eloquent, concise, and in no way bitter appeal to the powers that be.

The Booking of the Face

Well, it's finally happened. I done went and got this here blog a Facebook page. I'll use that page as my primary blog-type stuff page. (Links to new posts, changes to the site, free iPhones... the usual.).

Once Upon a Time...

...I took pictures. Lots of them. Some of them came out pretty well.

Gratuitous Nerdity

As you may or may not know, I am a bit of a nerd. I loved math in high school. I thought history would be so awesome if only it came in something other than drab monotone.

Clover

When we moved into this house, one of the previous tenants left behind a female cat named Clover. She had recently had a litter of kittens (as opposed to sea horses), and the last of the litter was given to a good home a few weeks after we arrived.

Friday, July 29, 2011

What We've Got Here Is... Failure to Communicate

My poor grandmother really has no choice but to believe her first grandson (not oldest, because screw you) is on drugs. Not prescription ones like Oxycontin. Not vaguely legal but not exactly completely legal ones like marijuana. Nope, she has to think I've got a heroin needle sticking out of my arm while doing lines of coke and washing it down with some crack and/or crystal meth. (Too soon for an Amy Winehouse picture? Yeah, probably too soon.) And something something acid and shrooms. For the record, and in case I ever decide to run for office, I'm not. (That's almost entirely true. As far as you know.)

Why would she think this?

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Back to My Roots

As most of you know, this blog began with spam. I had some fun messing with a spammer until they gave up on me. Well, I decided to kick it old school with this post. Below you'll find my conversation with one Akmal Wahidah, Esq. Yep, Esquire. So you know it's legit.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

An Open Letter to the Connecticut Department of Labor

Dear Connecticut Department of Labor,

I am writing to inform you that you suck. Wait, wait. It's not that I don't appreciate the money you give me every week. I do. No, really, it's great. Thank you for that. No, what I'm writing to you about is your TeleBenefits line.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

International Man of Mystery

I want you all to know something about me. It's very important that you pay very close attention. What I'm about to tell you will most likely blow your mind, but it needs to be said. Are you ready? You sure? Ok, then. Here goes nothing...

Monday, July 4, 2011

May the Fourth be With You!

Happy Independence Day, everybody! Just a random thought: do you think English people are sick of getting their noses rubbed in it every year? "Haha, England. We kicked your ass. Now watch these fireworks and weep into your tea. You know, the tea we didn't throw into the ocean. Bahahahaha." And then the Queen is all "Oh, bugger off already."


Being American rules.

The Booking of the Face

Well, it's finally happened. I done went and got this here blog a Facebook page. I'll use that page as my primary blog-type stuff page. (Links to new posts, changes to the site, free iPhones... the usual.) This way I don't need to use my personal Facebook page as one big marketing machine. No sir, I can get back to posting links to sites people never clicked on anyway (your loss, that stuff is gold) and and making pointless observations now. Sort of like what I do here, but in little fun-size amounts.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Once Upon a Time...

...I took pictures. Lots of them. Some of them came out pretty well. Those of you from Facebook have probably already seen these, but just use this as a reminder of my awesomeness. Not that you needed reminding. Ok, without further ado, the pictures (after the jump):

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Gratuitous Nerdity

As you may or may not know, I am a bit of a nerd. I loved math in high school. I thought history would be so awesome if only it came in something other than drab monotone. I have enough useless knowledge in this dome to choke Ken Jennings. (Nerd burn!) I'm pretty sure IMDb, Wikipedia, and TV Tropes are one click away from serving me with an e-restraining order. At times, there have been blackouts:

Wikipedia > Symbolism in The Matrix > Deus Ex Machina > *three hours* > Duct Tape.

It just happens. Generally when the trance is broken, I find myself sitting in bed next to a sleeping girlfriend who somehow manages to look judgmental as she saws lumber sighs contentedly. I like to know stuff. It's not so I can be that guy from Good Will Hunting who tries to make Ben Affleck look like a chooch, only to be schooled by Jason Bourne himself. No, it's just one of my many... idiosyncrasies, we'll call them. (We will call them that because this is my blog, and "weird brain thing" just sounds mean.)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Clover in Question

Since I know you have all been clamoring for a picture of Clover, the wait is finally over. Also included in this picture at no extra charge is Tara.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Clover

When we moved into this house, one of the previous tenants left behind a female cat named Clover. She had recently had a litter of kittens (as opposed to sea horses), and the last of the litter was given to a good home a few weeks after we arrived. Clover was very skittish around everyone and refused to be held. Almost immediately, however, she became very attached to our cat, a young male named Gizmo.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Nibble Nibble

First, the spam:


On Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 11:33 PM, kim Bradly <kimbradly@info.com> wrote:
My name is Kimberly Bradly,an accountant with FIRST CITY MONUMENT BANK PLC (FCMB Plc).The reason am contacting you,is for us to work together
in achieving a very legitimate opportunity/prospect in my office that
will be of great benefit to us.
We will share in the ratio of 50/50% at the end of a successful deal.

If you are interested please contact me with a valid telephone number
via this email: b.kimberly56@yahoo.com for better communication.

Sincerely,

Kimberly Bradly.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naturally, as a concerned citizen of the world, my only choice was to show said concern, which was displayed thusly:

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Origins

In the past year or so, I've been guided to the works of Danny Wallace. For those of you that aren't familiar with his work, the Jim Carrey movie "Yes Man" was loosely based on Wallace's book of the same name. The basic premise of the book concerns the trials and tribulations of Wallace's life when he takes a fellow bus rider's simple imploration to "say yes more." One of the many paths this leads Wallace down is that of a relationship he builds with an anonymous author of an email scam. You've been chosen, yada yada, millions of dollars, so on and so forth, all we need is your bank account information, etc., etc. Seeing as he's decided to say "yes" to any offer that comes his way, Wallace is obliged to accept this heavy responsibility. He resulting adventures are often hilarious, and occasionally moving. (Ok, "moving" is a bit much. "Head-shake-worthy" is closer to the truth.)